The Update That Never Ends

I open an app. "Update available!" I update. I open again. "Update available!" Again?! I just updated! What could possibly have changed in the last 47 seconds?!

The updates are never small either. They take 47 hours and require me to restart the app 47 times. I just wanted to check the weather!

The Conspiracy

I think apps update just to feel important. "Look at me! I'm new and improved!" No, you're the same app with a different number. Let me use you!